New Shoes
Yesterday I turned 36 years old. Thirty-six. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those “Oh, my God where did the time go!” types. I know where the time went and I have been present for all of it, but I am getting older.
I got a really early start on life. I was married at 21 and had my daughter at 22. So I have been responsible for a really long time. I am married to a great man and I have three extraordinary children, but every now and then I want to fall in love all over again. Same man of course, but all over again.
The rush of being young, everything new and exciting in a stupid, silly, windows down sort of way. I miss that sometimes, not too much to be creepy, just sometimes. There is something about youth that you never recognize when you are in it, but you reflect on it when it is gone.
Firsts…first love, first car, first kiss, first heart flutter, first day of college, first wedding day. I have had this conversation with Michael and his response is ,”create new firsts”. He is way more together than I am, so I take his advice. I look into my 37th year with hope for my new firsts, now I just have to figure out what the hell they are going to be.
It is really an incredible journey getting older. If you are paying attention you gain knowledge along the way and then you hit a certain point when you wish there were things that you did not know. I have grown as a woman in these 36 years and would never go back, but I miss the girl that believed “anything is possible” and “people are just doing the best they can.” I know better now, but even though I drive an SUV with the air conditioning on, I make a point to roll down the windows from time to time.
That silly girl, she is right there. This is what is on my mind as I sit in the laundry room tonight.
Wishing you Slumber Parties!
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Hmmm, familiar. I just had a conversation with my husband the other night about fantasies. I won’t go in to HIS fantasies, but I can talk about mine. I like to remember what it felt like when I first fell in love with my husband. I like the way it felt to know that someone was totally captivated by me and thought I was the world to them. The other night, we walked down to the football stadium where we first met 20 years ago. Sat there for an hour or so talking and reminiscing. I honestly felt as if it drew us both back to where we hand those “tinglys” for each other again. Although we might not be as venturesome and daring as we were when we were 20, we have found some new things to try together. Glad to read this post and know that other women long for the “falling in love feeling” too.