I fell on Friday.

I’ve been hiking Piestewa Peak (Squaw Peak) for almost a year.  I hike the summit trail and it’s taken me a long time to get up to speed.  When I first started my knees really hurt on the decent so I wore straps on my knees. Eventually I built up my leg muscles.  It took time, but I showed up everyday and before I knew it I was kicking some ass.  I taught myself to move quickly, anticipate my moves on the decent and for the past few weeks I’ve felt amazing.  Sweaty, sore, incredible sense of accomplishment.

Friday was my last hike of the week (I take Saturday and Sunday off).  Beautiful day, rigorous climb, but I made good time.  I was half way down, really moving because I knew I had the weekend to rest, so I pushed myself.  My body felt powerful and I was only thinking about where I was putting my feet and the warm cup of tea waiting for me at the bottom and then…

I fell.  My boot must have caught something, it’s happened before, but I’ve been able to move out of it with nothing more than a stumble.  Not this time.  This time I fell face first with nothing to grab or stop my fall.  My shins slammed into the rocks as I fell, my cheekbone felt like it exploded as my face hit the rock in front of me.  It was sort of like a belly flop without water.  It was the kind of fall that you don’t really care who’s looking, you’re not embarassed, because you’re just scared to death that something awful is going to happen.

Nothing awful happened.  My chin is pretty scrapped up and my cheek is swollen.  I have some cuts and bruises and I spent Saturday in bed because I was pretty beat up.  It messed with my mind and all weekend I was sad, kind of depressed.  I was accomplishing something on that mountain, I was making progress and when I allowed myself to wallow, I felt like I’d been slapped back.  It felt unfair and while I was sore and annoyed I was angry.

Michael hikes with me.  He didn’t fall, but he felt for me.  He left me alone to wallow and tried to comfort me as much as I would allow.  Yesterday I felt better, but I was still feeling sorry for myself.  Sometimes you just go to a place and even though you know you’re being a baby you can’t get out.  Michael asked me to come watch a video he found while he was on Whole Food’s website.  The video is above.  He never said a word, just played the video.

Sometimes it’s knowing a person, knowing what brings them to their senses.  Michael knows me.  I’m no longer whining and I’m truly grateful nothing awful happened.  The journey is not always easy, no one promised easy.  It rained today, so no hike, but I will be back on that mountain bright and early tomorrow.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Fall Asleep.

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