Stone Washed

“Maybe you should smoke a little pot,” said the wonderful woman solely responsible for my cute haircut.

I arrived at my appointment whirling around as usual, she washed my hair as I rambled.  After I took a break from speaking and a deep breath, that was her advice.  Clearly I’m giving off a pent up crazy person vibe.

Smoke some pot…my response?  “Hmm, maybe I should.  How would I go about that?”

“Well, you’re probably better off with an edible so you don’t have the smoke and the mess.  Those are easy.  They even come in gummy bears.”

I tried not to look super clueless and naive, but those are two of my most frequent masks.  “I smoked pot in Amsterdam once, it was fun,” I said.  I know, I’m so Steve McQueen.

As I was laughing it off, it occurred to me that maybe there is a place in my life for “special” gummy bears.  After all, pot is a plant like…kale.  Kale is good for me, so why not?  I did what I always do, I asked more questions.  Turns out you can function on these gummy bears, you just “don’t give a shit.”  Today, that sounded incredibly appealing.

By the time she took out the blow dryer, I was on board.  I could be that mom that looks perfectly respectable, but I’m popping THC laced little bear candy.  I’m a writer after all, I should be on something by now.  Maybe I’ll be inspired.

I left the salon feeling on the brink, the cusp, of a new “Who gives a shit?” life.  It was all very Breaking Bad and then I did the one thing cool badass stoners never do.

I Googled cannabis.

Oh, I’m not sure I could handle dry mouth.  Is this going to be a problem in my spin class?  How much will this stuff cost? What if I’m a ticking time bomb just waiting for some gateway drug to give me that boost into hardcore needle land?

I get my hair cut again in a month, I’ll let you know if James Franco and I become buddies.

Wait…can I get in trouble for blogging about this?  Sigh.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Happy Sleep.

crazy life fun humor

11 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Actually, hardcore stoners Google cannabis all the time. You’d be surprised. A lot of the traffic to my blog is from people Googling for various strains. 🙂 Good luck! The gateway drug thing is BS, don’t worry about that. Just do what feels right to you.

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