What happened to turning on the bathroom water, pushing the little thingie for soap, and grabbing a few paper towels?
We have turned into a bunch of hand wavers trying to trip some sensor simply to wash our hands. Have you looked around an airport bathroom, or better yet, been treated to a spontaneous bidet when the toilet flushed prematurely?
Was there some kind of touching things epidemic that I missed? Have millions of lives been lost to potty hands?
I was in a public restroom this morning, and the manic soap dispenser wasn’t working. I waved, put my hand underneath, side to side, and waited.
Nothing.
After huffing and cursing whatever company made millions of dollars so I could be rendered helpless by the simple task of washing my hands, I tried one more time. This time I got up close and attempted to mentally beam— Hello, I’m here, and I need soap.
It worked.
The dispenser made a funky groan and shot soap out in an aggressive squirt that landed on my shirt. Shit!
I turned to the paper towels. More waving and I was rewarded with a tiny square that might dry an elf’s hands. A tiny elf.
After managing to smear the soap around on my top with my ration of paper, I threw the whole mess away and gave up on washing my hands.
Yeah, look at me go spreading bathroom germs. Look out.
How is it that we are so hung up on little things like touching a sink or a soap dispenser, but the big stuff is still broken?
Maybe it is easier to install a bunch of bathroom nonsense and far more difficult to treat airline passengers with basic dignity.
I recognize things are a little topsy-turvy these days. It’s complicated, I get it. I don’t mean to roll my eyes. They have a mind all their own.
In the meantime though, I’d like to put forth a simple request. While elected officials and big business are “working,” could we move back to handles and knobs?
I’m not asking for a permanent switch. We can bring back the sensors as soon as we have nothing else to worry about.
My thoughts from the laundry room. Fitted Sheet.
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