Detergent

Some people believe that pornography should be removed from the shelves.

I’m assuming they have issues with nudity, or they don’t want their kids to see naked women, or they like pornography a lot and think if it is banished from the land, they’ll be able to control themselves.

I would like to think it’s because the porn industry is wrought with abuse, drugs and otherwise, but I think it’s more about righteous pearl clutchers afraid of the fantasy they know their reality will never yield.

If that’s the reason, I get it. I feel the same way about planners.

My life would be easier if all of these incredibly creative and crafty people would stop making planners. I continue believing that I am the woman who captures every moment of my life with hand lettering and dreamy art.

I tell myself I am a person who does not write things on random pieces of paper. That I am a goal setter, a list maker, a gratitude journalizer.

Like porn, it is a fantasy. I am not that person, but I want to be when I flip through the beautiful pages of color and imaginative prompts.

My latest shameful purchase was an electronic planner. I guess that would be like watching porn instead of buying the magazine.

Anyway, electronic planners are the same snake oil. Designers sell electronic stickers on Etsy and a million different formats. There are sections to add to your planner like “Loving This…” Four squares with eating, doing, listening, watching. You are supposed to put corresponding pictures and write a little about each of these topics.

I buy some form of planner porn every year and all I’ve discovered is that I am a boring person with average handwriting who cannot set weekly goals, let alone monthly and yearly “plans for success.”

I am not “killing it,” and while I’m not sure if I am “living my best life,” I know for a fact that just like I will never wear a thong on a kitchen stool with whipped cream on my no-longer-there nipples, I will never be a “girl boss.”

So, if you are a planner designer or a porn star, deep bow. Your work is the stuff of fantasies and I for one must abstain or maybe you should just keep that crap off Etsy.

My thoughts from the laundry room. Not Tonight.

acceptance balance choices crazy life humor learning life lists thoughts

9 Comments Leave a comment

  1. This is the very reason magazines like Real Simple are painful for me! I will never own a label machine, fold socks properly, catalogue all my photos. These are all activities for planners. Hello, soul sister.

  2. I love this one—I always have a “planner” for each year–HOWEVER, my planner is mostly used as that “piece of scrap-paper” needed for appointments, reminders, story ideas and all the other stuff you need to put in its allotted space “for later” and never do. So, if you want to look at my planner, don’t look for the appropriate date , but search all the notes scrawled throughout. . . .Maybe what I really need is just a huge pad for all the jottings and skip the cutesy-poo planner 🙂

  3. I have no idea what about 90% of the stuff you mention here is. I do know Porn, but the rest of that stuff, um, no. Still, it pleases me that you have so much personal insight, Sister. If I had a planner (whatever that is) one of the few things I’d put in it would be a reminder to read your blog every chance i got. Happy Birthday. No, wait…it’s MY birthday. I gotta go eat some cake. (See? No planning involved!)

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