Category: If

Mohair Scarf

If I were a dog walker, I would keep sprouted mung beans in my bag. Maybe some bits of cooked chicken too. And one of those collapsible water bowls, just in case people let us down. I would live in a big city. The city of my childhood so I’d know all the nooks and…

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Seams

If I were a seamstress, I would work in the theater. My hair would be long, wavy, and tucked into a bun with those sticks, or maybe an ornate pin. I would wear tunic tops and gaucho pants, but not linen. It’s too heavy and it wrinkles. I’d smell like roses and tobacco. If I…

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Soft Water

  If my boobs were small and I was skinny, I would eat cake every day for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes frosting, sometimes not, but always cake. At night, I would choose between lasagna and pizza. Real lasagna with real cheese or pizza with the perfect amount of crust and a sauce that wasn’t too sweet.…

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Denim Shirt

  If I were a mechanic, I would bring my lunch in a paper sack. During the winter months, I’d take a thermos of soup to chase off the cold. My garage would be a small two bay place, painted white with blue trim. Outside would hang a sign in dark blue script that read Mechanic on Duty.…

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Dress

If I were a hairdresser, I would want to be called a “dresser” and not a “stylist.” I would own a little two chair place in a small town, tucked close to a bakery.  Every morning, just as the sun was coming up, I would walk to work.  Down the hill, past the small garage…

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Tie Dye

If I had written Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian would probably have a rooftop garden. He would live in a refurbished walk-up because he appreciates a solid foundation, but can’t tolerate the clutter of the past.  Sure Christian would be angsty and brooding.  He would have “issues,” but that’s why he has the garden.  Also, he would have…

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A Pair

If I had a sister, she would be taller than me. And older.  I’d be the curvy one.  She’d be the long legs, straight up and down one.  Her hair would be darker, longer and not as thick as mine.  Her eyes would be rounder, bigger, with more green, actually her eyes would be green. She…

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Wellies

If I lived in a lighthouse, I would bake fresh bread every Saturday and my cookie jar would always be full. I would wear wellies, worn out jeans, and sweaters.  I would have a big down coat with a fur trimmed hood.  When I came in from outside, I would leave my boots at the…

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