Tag: food

Soft Water

  If my boobs were small and I was skinny, I would eat cake every day for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes frosting, sometimes not, but always cake. At night, I would choose between lasagna and pizza. Real lasagna with real cheese or pizza with the perfect amount of crust and a sauce that wasn’t too sweet.…

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Blood Stain

  I once tried a vegan chocolate chip cookie. I’m sorry no matter how you pretty up the packaging—no. Cookies are a very specific kind of happiness that can not, should not, be changed up. Butter is important. I’m not exactly sure how I stumbled upon PETA’s website. I think it was something on Twitter,…

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Mittens

  I might be addicted to Wintergreen Life Savers. I wasn’t aware a person could become addicted to Life Savers, save the rainbow candy ones. I thought wintergreen was safe, but I now have mint burn on my tongue because I’ve been eating handfuls of these suckers every day. I’m trying to escape the “just one more”…

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Food Stains

I like food. I’ve tried a lot of it.  I’m really good at eating and I rarely discriminate. Sushi, falafel, matzo ball soup, chicken and waffles, just waffles.  There’s nothing better than a great calzone, or a slice of good pizza, the kind you can fold up and eat properly.  Eggplant parmesan…”Yes, can I get…

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Sweet and Low Jeans

Sugar and I are breaking up. Our relationship has gotten to the point that it’s toxic, and quite frankly, a one way street.  I indulge, often over indulge, in him and he gives me nothing in return.  Sure there’s a high the first time we meet after I’ve stayed away for a while, but it’s…

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Mustard Stain

I went to the fair this past weekend and didn’t even try the deep fried Twinkie. I was excited to go.  I love fairs or carnivals.  I like the sounds, smells, people watching, flashy lights, I’m a fan.  This year I was pretty excited to partake in the stick food.  New fair food items…deep fried everything.  You…

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Washboard

I’m not always sure we are heading in the right direction. Plant based, gluten free, dairy free, fish oils, chia seeds, vitamins, juicing…the list goes on and on, and while I participate in much of it, some days I wonder why. My grandparents didn’t take vitamins, they smoked, drank with friends.  My grandmother made things…

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Dirt Stains

I’m stupid silly for our garden lately. We are growing Swiss chard and tomatoes, three kinds of peppers and cucumbers all from seeds.  Like, buy little seeds in a package, grow them in cups inside and then plant them in the garden.  Now they’re plants.  Real, green plants. That’s the crazy part, we didn’t buy little…

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Pastel Colors

Jelly beans are evil. I innocently bought a big tub of Jelly Bellies.  I have three children, three baskets, I need a lot of jelly beans. Yes, I still do baskets even though my “children” are 20, 17 and 14.  Don’t judge. I bought them, I planned ahead and patted myself on the back.  Then…

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