I am 1985 Allison Reynolds lost on the set of Mean Girls. Let’s preface this rant with the truth that I love my apartment. It houses my favorite office and is located in a gorgeous spot. I have no complaints. But if, as my kids like to say, someone grabbed me by the throat and…
The maintenance guy thinks I’m a serial killer. We’ve had some issues with our smoke detectors going off at random intervals, and the joys of apartment life allow for a quick email to the maintenance department. A lovely man arrived yesterday. He changed some batteries. I stood with him under the alarm near my office…
Jack caught a squirrel. He has been watching them tightrope across the back fence, fling themselves from tree to rooftop and back again since we arrived one August afternoon. Jack tracks his audacious furry obsession from the window of my office. He attempts to outsmart them with a quiet approach and a sneak attack, only…
Some people believe that pornography should be removed from the shelves. I’m assuming they have issues with nudity, or they don’t want their kids to see naked women, or they like pornography a lot and think if it is banished from the land, they’ll be able to control themselves. I would like to think it’s…
Given my recent track record, this will be the last post of the year. The final wrap-up and farewell to two-thousand-and-eighteen. What to say? What to say? My first thought. Whatever happened to the Nutter Butter Wafers? Not the cookies shaped like a peanut shell, the square ones with the yummy whipped peanut butter filling.…
What did we do before Ziploc bags? I have a fuzzy memory of a bag with a fold-over tab, which was crazy inefficient because stuff fell right out. I have a clear memory of scoffing at such a bag while wondering why a Ziploc was not used instead. For some reason, a lot of…
Goldilocks annoys the crap out of me. First of all, you can’t stumble upon a bear’s home or anyone’s home, and let yourself in when your knock is not answered. Who do you think you are? This little tale has been shared with generations of children. She even gets top billing— Goldilocks and the Three…
I don’t brush my teeth at the same time every morning. I clean them eventually, but some mornings I’m not feeling it right away. There are days I make the bed first thing or slipper-shuffle to the kitchen for breakfast. It depends on my mood. I recently read an article about minimalism. I think it…
I am normally all about the last minute. Down to the wire, middle of the night, go-time, crunch time. Whatever phrase someone wants to put on it, I’m that girl. Plans start off the same as every other normal organized human being, but somewhere along the way I get lost. I’m susceptible to shiny lights…