Category: pain

Play Clothes

I have not listened to music in nearly two years. I’ve listened to the occasional song in the car, the focus-chill playlist with no words, and our family plays a game where we pick a theme and then go around the room so everyone gets to play their musical interpretation of the theme. That’s fun.…

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White Towel

A boy lost his father when he was a child. To work, compromise, and a dash of selfish. The boy cried. A young man lost his father when he was struggling. To indifference, distraction, and lies. The young man yelled. A man lost his father unexpectedly. To the invisible, the invasive, and neglect. The man…

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Split Seam

Dear Boobs – This morning’s conversation as we stood in the bathroom mirror was probably the first time we’ve shared more than a passing glance since it became clear we are no longer on the same page. It was tense. I stared at you and tried to imagine my body when you are gone. I’ll…

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Broken In

Broken girls become warriors. That was the quote on Pinterest. I’ve seen it before. I don’t know who wrote it. I’m sure several incarnations have been written dozens of times but reading it this morning set me off. Why the hell do we keep doing this? It seems the space between complicated issue and bumper…

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Starch

  If I don’t focus, life can be a real pain in the ovaries. Recently, I have started reading about Stoicism. I’m finding meditation is a little too cozy-blanket unless I’m going to be a monk, which is still an option on my table, but in the meantime, I need to strike a balance between…

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Fold

Seven birds and, as of this morning, six baby mice. That is the death toll this spring. I can not provide context for this loss because I don’t know how many baby birds were in all of the nests around our house, nor do I know how many mice families call our piece of land home.…

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Pink Pockets

When I was young, my mom and I moved to New York to take care of my Nannie who had breast cancer. My Nan fought like hell, and we spent a good bit of time in Bronxville. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment, which was part of a big yellow house that had four or…

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Dirt

  I have never been bullied. There was that one time some kid said my red hair looked like a used tampon in front of the entire class, but that was just… odd. I’ve been teased about my freckles and my last name. I am occasionally mocked, mostly by my children these days. Throughout my…

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Toughskins

  I am white. It is the skin I was born in. It’s actually kind of peach and sometimes blotchy in the sun, but in society, I am classified as—white. I’m married to a man with similar skin, and all three of our children are shades of us. We are a white family living on…

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