I was at the gym today.

I know…so many riveting posts begin with “I was at the gym”, but I promise not to launch into how many squat thrusts I did because I’m not even sure what those are.  I mention the gym only as an explanation for how I found myself noticing a woman in her g-string.

I was in the locker room and the women at my gym are…let’s call them comfortable.  For some reason most of them see putting any kind of clothing on as the last step in the getting ready process.  I’m used to catching glimpses of granny panties, thongs, even no panties, but today was my first g-string.  I came around the corner and there it was.  The woman was standing with all the other women blowdrying her hair.  She was about my age, SUV driver, no hooker heals, she didn’t look like a professional that was getting greased up for the lunch crowd.  And yet, as I turned to leave…she was definitely wearing a g-string.

Now let’s spend some time in my mind…

Do regular people wear g-strings?  I thought that was a professional tool.  Certainly not an everyday, Friday “go to” panty.  Why would someone want to wear a g-string?  It seems uncomfortable and stupid.  Is there an age limit on g-strings?  I mean is it inappropriate for someone old enough to be a mom to be walking around in a g-string?  If there is an age limit, what is it?  Did I miss the appropriate g-string years?  Why don’t I have g-strings?  I mean if she’s wearing one, maybe I should too.  Am I missing out on something here?  Would Gloria Steinhem wear a g-string?

This continued all the way to my car.  Yes, I know Egypt is in violent unrest and I should be pondering ways to help mankind.   I’m not saying I’m proud of my mind, but there I was.

A few days ago I was buying new sunglasses.  I explained to the woman that I hate sunglasses because they are always too heavy.  She showed me this great pair of aviators and told me that, with my coloring, I should wear the gold frames.  “But I don’t wear gold jewelry.  Can I wear gold rims if I don’t wear gold jewelry?  What’s the rule with that?”  I asked.

She looked at me like I was super special and said, “You know, there really aren’t any rules.  You can wear whatever you want.”  Wait…what?  I’m pretty sure there are rules about gold and silver.  It’s in there with when you can wear white and shoes matching your bag.

Rules have always been comforting, but lately I’m interested in this idea of no rules.  Maybe I’m listening to too much Katy Perry.

I bought the gold sunglasses because they are very light and gold is nutty for me.  I’ll just bet that sales lady wears a g-string at the gym too.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Never Set Your Alarm More Than 15 Minutes Early.

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