Off White

I really only pray for one thing.

I think what I do is still called praying. I don’t believe in or belong to a particular religion and I don’t read specific books or how-to manuals regarding God or Jesus, or the host of other characters. I don’t go to church or kneel down to pray. Actually, there was this one yucky time in my life that I sort crumbled to the floor, but I don’t think that counts as kneeling.

I try not to pass judgement on people that belong to an organized religion. It doesn’t always work because some of them can be pretty annoying, but I try. The when and where and who I talk to, any of us talk to, is private. I will say this, I believe in something greater than myself. I don’t care about the details, who it is, or which side of the line he or she first set foot. I’m not interested in the form the something greater than me is, I just know it’s there. I’m veering off course here, back to my praying…

I don’t pray for things to go my way, I don’t ask for things or pray that something won’t happen. I don’t believe whatever energy is out there has the ability to change those silly earth things. If it did, I’m pretty sure there are lots of prayers in third world countries that need answering. When I tap into this energy greater than me, when I do…pray, I ask for strength. That’s it.

It’s a quick prayer and I do close my eyes most of the time, unless I’m driving. I’ve prayed for strength in good times and bad times. I feel like that’s really the only thing God can help me with. The maze of life can’t be changed, I don’t believe some magic hand will come down and make me less sick or protect my children above anyone else’s children.

Strength though, I feel like the energy that is God, or whatever you want to call it, can help me push on, stand up and take life with dignity, let go, even forgive. Extra strength is always a good thing, so sometimes pray for it.

My thoughts from the laundry room. Sleep.

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