I’m having a really hard time with nonsense lately.
I used to be better at it. I could listen to nonsense, talk nonsense and just move around pretending to give a crap, but now I find myself making faces. Sometimes I roll my eyes. The eyes always give it away. I should probably just wear sunglasses all the time.
Maybe that’s why Jack Nicholson wears them.
I’m not sure when my faking it ability began to wane, but I’m in a free fall these days. I’m approaching Howard Hughes, On Golden Pond Katherine Hepburn.
I don’t want to try anymore to not offend or make small talk. I’ll be honest, it’s a little scary.
What if I’m heading toward outcast land where I will end up one of those rude people that says things like, “Oh, well that’s just stupid,” or “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I can’t start being brutally honest, saying what I really think. Not in this day and age when everything is just so agreeable, family bed, peachy keen. Sure honest me may be a novelty for a while, but at some point people will label me nuts and stick me in the corner.
I’m trying to find my old self. I make an effort to smile. I ask questions, try to engage, but when I sense bullshit something comes over me and it’s that same feeling I get when I really have to pee. I can see the person’s lips jabbering, but all I’m focused on is running.
It has to be that I’m getting older. I’m tired. Not sure, but I’ve had some close calls lately, so I need to either invest in a pair of all day Ray Bans or only allow myself limited time in the sandbox.
I can not cross over into no nonsense, honesty is the best policy. That’s not nice. Who does that? No one will want to be around me. Hmm…
My thoughts from the laundry room. Stop Snoring!