I’ll vote today, but I’m not sure why.

I no longer believe my one vote can make a difference.  When I’m in my dark place, I’m not sure any of our votes make a difference.  My daughter is 21.  She’s gung ho, super excited about the election, and her vote.  We raised her that way, taught her voting was important, so this morning I was wondering when I lost it.  When I stopped feeling my vote, my opinion, was relevant or even heard.

I’m not sure there was one particular day, but somewhere around the Bush years I gave up and started going through the motions.  Once Obama was in office, I stopped the motions all together.  I no longer wanted to even be informed because quite frankly we’ve been talking about the same issues my entire life, before me even.  Men and women have been elected, money, lots of money, has been spent and we still can’t figure out the basic stuff?

What’s that phrase about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?  I’m pretty sure that’s what we are doing.

I feel like I’m in on the secret now.  I’m no longer a new employee at orientation, excited about the 401k.  I know now that the copier always jams and my co-worker is sleeping with the boss.  I’ve been on the job long enough to know that the same “agenda items” will be at next week’s meeting.

I think I’ve become that haggard lady in the polyester pants, the only one that still takes a smoke break.

I don’t want to be her.  I want to be fresh faced, excited about the four different kinds of creamer in the break room, or the company picnic, but I’ve seen the boss and the board in action now.  They bicker, move the office furniture around, but they still can’t agree on trashcans.  Sure they give us frozen turkeys on Thanksgiving, but what the new employee will soon learn is that they eat their cranberry sauce on St. Barts with the 401k money.

Maybe if we could get a new boss?  Maybe if someone else with better ideas comes in?

Sigh…my daughter will be expecting to see my sticker, so I’ll vote.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Reoccurring Dream.

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