Dropping Off the Dry Cleaning

I spend a great deal of time on the freeway, actually too much time on the freeway. Tonight I feel the need to discuss the people I observe on the freeway. I am afeared that some readers may see themselves in my discussion and if that is the case I want to get it out right up front…I am sorry. This entry is not meant to pass judgement it is just that I am always fascinated by people and their behaviors. I only hope I am as entertaining for the people watching me. So, here goes…

8:30 AM Driving down the I-17 Freeway in Phoenix, Arizona

Below are the cast of characters (this is not a joke, all of these people were actually on the freeway during my 45 minute commute.)

A man, I think it was a man but the windows were too dark to get a definite visual confirmation, in a black truck. Now, I drive a Ford Expedition (I know, bad for the environment) and this man’s running boards on his truck were almost up to the middle of my window. Not bad so far the man likes a high truck, right? Now let’s throw in his license plate “MAADMAN”. For those of you that do not speak license plate, that is Mad Man. OK, so this man likes big black trucks and he is a bit of a wild child. Still, I am fine with my freeway buddy. Now lets add the two 24″ (at least) silhouettes of the naked female angels (the discussion about men that parade around with this crap on their cars is a topic for another day, the women that put it on their cars?…on my list of things I will never understand.). Throw in the NRA bumper sticker and there you have it.

A woman in a White Ford Excursion with all five of her family members, in miniature stickers, on the back of her car with their names below each figure.

A woman in a Blue Toyota Corolla type of a car. She caught my eye because she had the following items in the back window of her car: 10-15 Beanie Babies, an old box of tissues, and a bottle of wine (maybe a Zinfandel).

One man shaving.

At least 3 people picking their nose.

One singing girl with a pierced lip.

One woman on her mobile phone, driving and trying to eat a breakfast sandwich at the same time. I stayed away from her.

Two women putting on their makeup. One with a “Jesus is My Co-pilot” bumper sticker.

One child standing up in the back seat of a small car looking at me.

Probably every smoker in Arizona, chain smoking in their cars. Boy that has really increased, or I am just noticing it more. Since they can not smoke anywhere else I see a lot of car smokers.

Small dog sitting on his/her masters lap, WHILE THEY WERE DRIVING.

A man in a pickup truck with what looked like the entire contents of his home loaded into the back and tied down with some old twine. This man was really little and he had a statue of the Virgin Mary on his dashboard. I am thinking he needed her.

A Red Socks Fan eating Dorritos at 8:30 A.M.

Several members of the Calvary Church

One woman with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet stickers on her car. Her license plate was “TIGRRRR” which translates to Tigger. She also had the head of Winnie the Pooh on her antenna, but he was half way down the antenna, so sort of skewered Pooh.

So, diversity is alive and well on the freeways of America. I am fascinated by what you can tell about a person from their car, or their morning performance in the car and especially those people that feel the need to express themselves loud and clear.

Let’s start with my favorite character, MAADMAN. What is it with men like this? Are they really compensating for something? And more importantly, why are certain people lemmings. These Skin Stickers, that usually come with a naked woman silhouette…who invented these? Is this some sort of website or someone told me it was a clothing line? Whatever it is, why did some misogynistic yahoo decide to put it on his car and now every tight t-shirt wearing, hair slicked back, little man feels the need to put in on his car. It is now a trend!! What does this say? I am a stud and I get a lot of women? I like naked women? I do not get it and here is something to think about…let’s take someone like Sean Connery (who has surely had his share of beautiful women), do we think he has naked angels on his car? I’m guessing no. But even more disturbing than MAADMAN are the women that look at this man and think “Wow, he is hot.”, but that is a topic for another day.

Moving on to the next trend, what is with the family members on the back window, I have seen little people, little flip flops and little shoes. Why? Why do people feel the need to tell the world how many children they have? I understand that people want to express themselves, but this just seems dumb and I do not care. Again, it is annoying because someone came up with this idea and now everyone and their brother has it on their car. The other day I saw someone with two people figures and their dogs. Stop!!

Beanie Babies Lady has a story. I am not sure what it is, but she wins the award for most intriguing. I could not see if the wine was open, but I am picturing this lady in a parking lot sitting in the backseat of her car drinking cheap wine, crying about her boyfriend and talking to her Beanie Baby Collection. On another note, what is with the stuffed animals in the car? Why? Maybe these people spend a lot of time in the car and they want it to be like home? Not sure.

Why would anyone pierce their lip? I know…expression, but couldn’t you find another way to express yourself? The only thing worse than the lip is the tongue…Ouch!!

Jesus is My Co-pilot Lady does not bother me because she obviously feels strongly about Jesus and I am OK with that. Same goes for the Calvary Church. Not my cup of tea, but people doing their thing and not hurting anyone. Not a fan of the Ultra Conservative Christians with the Pro-Life stickers mainly because they are ignorant statements. Enough said.

Why do people not put their children in car seats? They are free for crying out loud. My favorite are the people with their kids bouncing around their car while they are on the mobile phone. If you can afford the phone, how about putting your child in a car seat!

Smokers, I feel for you. You were once part of this “aren’t they cool club” and now you are just out. Wow, big time like lepers. Maybe if you start putting Skin Stickers on your car you can be part of the next trend.

When did dogs become people and replacements for children. I saw a woman the other day in Target with a little dog in the front of the basket. What the hell is this? It is a dog…what happened to No Dogs Allowed. This can not be clean. Moving on.

Winnie the Pooh Lady again not my thing, but she apparently has a need to let everyone know that she is a fan. There seems to be a private Disney Land Club. There are people that really get into Disney Land and the characters. Wow.

Those are my thoughts on my drive, but mainly I think it all comes down to people needing to be acknowledged. Some people put things on their car, others put funny saying on their t-shirts, or some people blog. It is all just about saying “Hello, I am here.” I love the unique people that find new ways to make people laugh or often times think with their expressions. The people that disturb me are the followers, the ones that follow the latest trend in bumper stickers or on a larger scale the latest trend in politics. Think for yourself!

On that note, I leave you with this quote: “I have always been interested in people, but seldom have I liked them” Does anyone know who said this? I thought it was William Blake, but that is not it. If anyone knows please let me know. That is all from the laundry room for tonight.

Comfy Pillows All Around!

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