Air Dry

How much more life will I live before it’s time to change the head on my electric toothbrush again?

Time is visceral these days. I’m parsing out my life in an effort to make a day, a month, a year meaningful. Life-affirming. I like to think things are not just slipping by for me. No. I’m grabbing these moments.

But I’m not. I am rotating around the sun just like everyone else. So whether I chronicle that journey in a beautiful journal or sit on my couch eating Cheetos and watching reruns, the clock ticks the same.

I’m not afraid of time or dying. The weird bit lately is that I’m aware. Things, small things, pop as important. Followed by this urgency to make sure I remember something or even blog about my electric toothbrush.

It’s weird being so conscious of things. Life used to rush by in a whirl of have-to and stuff I thought would make a difference. Now that I’ve slowed down, now that I look at things and allow myself time to think, I’m a bit fixated on the hours that make up the day and the days that finish a year.

I wonder if I’ll be this way right up until I’m gone. Is this a permanent change, or will I hit another phase where I’ll be back to rushing and buzzing?

If I’m heading back to sweaty palms, I’d better enjoy this slower time. Maybe write some things down before I forget how everything looked in the slow of sunset.

When I was aware of the ticking of time.

My thoughts from the laundry room. Count Sheep.

age balance learning life meaning thoughts wonder

7 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Thank goodness you’re still out here in the ether! I’ve not been writing as much or following others’ writing as much and I’m finding so many people have hung up the towel. I always enjoy your blog! I still write but am doing so less often–feeling maybe it’s time for a change but not sure what. I’m sure you’ve been there.

    • Hahaha. Still here. I’m glad you are here too, even if we’re a bit limited for now. I’m learning to embrace “for now.” It leaves so much room, right? For now, it’s like this. I am often at a loss these days, but I’m hopeful it’s not forever. ❤️

  2. I think we are merely getting older and probably feeling every minute of it now that Winter is almost upon us—you know, that dismal dreary season of rain, ice and snow? I just tell myself I could easily get run-over by a senior pushing a grocery cart, fall on my noggin and lights out permanently–all this happening in a family supermarket. I also think that after a lifetime of rushing here and there, it’s really nice to enjoy all those small moments we had so easily missed before.. So please do enjoy that bag of Cheetos in front of the TV—I’ll be there too. . . .

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