Category: humor

Waffle Henley

Given my recent track record, this will be the last post of the year. The final wrap-up and farewell to two-thousand-and-eighteen. What to say? What to say? My first thought. Whatever happened to the Nutter Butter Wafers? Not the cookies shaped like a peanut shell, the square ones with the yummy whipped peanut butter filling.…

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Napkin

Goldilocks annoys the crap out of me. First of all, you can’t stumble upon a bear’s home or anyone’s home, and let yourself in when your knock is not answered. Who do you think you are? This little tale has been shared with generations of children. She even gets top billing— Goldilocks and the Three…

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Underwear

Is it wrong to punch a sick man in the face? My whole body hurts and when I think about his wrinkled shirt and incessant coughing, I want to punch him right in his runny red nose. Mr. You-Look-Like-Shit, why did you have to get on my plane? Why couldn’t you have slept through your alarm…

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Scrub

I am not an authentic person. After reading the 40 Habits of Highly Authentic People, it appears I don’t know any authentic people either. Things are crazy unauthentic in my world. Let me first say that I am a sucker for Top Ten or Five Keys to anything. I like stuff in bite size or with pretty…

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Sweater Snag

Hormones, we need to talk. I understand that I needed you growing up.  I appreciate that you helped create the stew that made my children.  I’m glad you’ve kept things female and working all of these years, but lately you’ve changed. You’re unstable, I can’t rely on you and you make me cry.  I’m done now. This is no longer a…

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Revealing Dress

I am so awkward. Honestly, sometimes things seem perfectly normal at the time and then I just don’t know what I was thinking.  This post is cringeworthy, so be forewarned.  If you are uncomfortable with boobs, stop right now and go enjoy your weekend. I have an author page on Facebook.  I hate Facebook, but it’s…

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Food Stains

I like food. I’ve tried a lot of it.  I’m really good at eating and I rarely discriminate. Sushi, falafel, matzo ball soup, chicken and waffles, just waffles.  There’s nothing better than a great calzone, or a slice of good pizza, the kind you can fold up and eat properly.  Eggplant parmesan…”Yes, can I get…

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Odd Fit

I like to think of myself as funny. I’m pretty sure I won something in high school related to being funny…best sense of humor or best laugh, maybe. No, I don’t think it was my laugh because that’s a bit of an awkward and snorty mess most of the time. Anyway, the point of the…

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Sweet and Low Jeans

Sugar and I are breaking up. Our relationship has gotten to the point that it’s toxic, and quite frankly, a one way street.  I indulge, often over indulge, in him and he gives me nothing in return.  Sure there’s a high the first time we meet after I’ve stayed away for a while, but it’s…

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