As a child, I imagined my body as a construction site. I am not sure where this originated, but I believed tiny workers in hardhats were throughout my body and in charge of my significant systems. If I had a stomach ache, I would say, “The guys in my tummy are working hard today.” Weird?…
The maintenance guy thinks I’m a serial killer. We’ve had some issues with our smoke detectors going off at random intervals, and the joys of apartment life allow for a quick email to the maintenance department. A lovely man arrived yesterday. He changed some batteries. I stood with him under the alarm near my office…
The last day of 2021 deserves a blog post. Actually, 2021 was a real bitch and deserves nothing, but here goes. Endings are sometimes a party, but they are often tricky. The world lost Betty White today. OG move crossing to the other side on the last day of the year, but also difficult for…
Balconies are interesting spaces. A front yard or a porch are also revealing, but balconies are small pops of individuality amid a sea of windowed vertical boxes. I can’t say I ever noticed what my neighbors were doing when I lived among the streets, but now that I’m in an apartment, I can’t seem to…
Some people believe that pornography should be removed from the shelves. I’m assuming they have issues with nudity, or they don’t want their kids to see naked women, or they like pornography a lot and think if it is banished from the land, they’ll be able to control themselves. I would like to think it’s…
Given my recent track record, this will be the last post of the year. The final wrap-up and farewell to two-thousand-and-eighteen. What to say? What to say? My first thought. Whatever happened to the Nutter Butter Wafers? Not the cookies shaped like a peanut shell, the square ones with the yummy whipped peanut butter filling.…
Goldilocks annoys the crap out of me. First of all, you can’t stumble upon a bear’s home or anyone’s home, and let yourself in when your knock is not answered. Who do you think you are? This little tale has been shared with generations of children. She even gets top billing— Goldilocks and the Three…
Is it wrong to punch a sick man in the face? My whole body hurts and when I think about his wrinkled shirt and incessant coughing, I want to punch him right in his runny red nose. Mr. You-Look-Like-Shit, why did you have to get on my plane? Why couldn’t you have slept through your alarm…
I am not an authentic person. After reading the 40 Habits of Highly Authentic People, it appears I don’t know any authentic people either. Things are crazy unauthentic in my world. Let me first say that I am a sucker for Top Ten or Five Keys to anything. I like stuff in bite size or with pretty…