Category: humor

Sweet and Low Jeans

Sugar and I are breaking up. Our relationship has gotten to the point that it’s toxic, and quite frankly, a one way street.  I indulge, often over indulge, in him and he gives me nothing in return.  Sure there’s a high the first time we meet after I’ve stayed away for a while, but it’s…

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Mixed Colors

I found something called a Color Emotion Key while I was wasting time on Pinterest  writing my book that should have been done yesterday.  It lists colors and the corresponding emotion or meaning.  “The colors you are drawn to tell a great deal about your emotional state,” it says. I’m a sucker for this stuff.  I…

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Sweatsuit

A drunk woman sat in front of me on the plane last night. I’m sorry.  I can’t be kind and just ignore.  This needs to be documented. It’s important to set the scene.  We had just arrived in Seattle from London and this was the last stretch of a long day of flying.  The plane…

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Revealing Blouse

I’m so tired of the back window over-share. This post may offend some people and for that I am maybe a little sorry.  I’m sure it’s not the first time I’ve offended someone and it certainly won’t be the last, but I need to blog this out. Bumper stickers are a form of expression, I get it.…

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Stone Washed

“Maybe you should smoke a little pot,” said the wonderful woman solely responsible for my cute haircut. I arrived at my appointment whirling around as usual, she washed my hair as I rambled.  After I took a break from speaking and a deep breath, that was her advice.  Clearly I’m giving off a pent up…

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Fantastic Shoes

I’ve never been a very good fan. I have a hard time wearing things on my T-shirts.  I’m not a big chanter, screamer, “Oh my God…” type of person. I do, however, love music and there have been two times in my life that I have slept on a sidewalk for concert tickets.  Once in junior…

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String Bikini

Summer sucks for white girls. Maybe not all white girls, but for this white girl Summer is a reminder that I don’t belong at the lake tubing or some beach volleyball game.  Maybe I have a few unresolved issues from high school, but I’m never going to be tan, cocoa oiled, and I’m tired of…

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Slip

A couple of months ago, Barb, aka Book Club Mom, interviewed me and asked about my experience finding an agent.  At the time of the interview I had not yet looked for an agent.  I have spent the past few weeks in that process and I feel a metaphor coming on. Finding an agent is…

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Perfect Pants

Never has choosing a pair of pants seemed so important. The trek to Machu Picchu is now three weeks away and I have read everything I possibly can on packing tips and the like.  Some say travel pants, some say workout pants, others swear by those ones that zip into shorts.  I’m literally sweating about…

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