Stone Washed

“Maybe you should smoke a little pot,” said the wonderful woman solely responsible for my cute haircut.

I arrived at my appointment whirling around as usual, she washed my hair as I rambled.  After I took a break from speaking and a deep breath, that was her advice.  Clearly I’m giving off a pent up crazy person vibe.

Smoke some pot…my response?  “Hmm, maybe I should.  How would I go about that?”

“Well, you’re probably better off with an edible so you don’t have the smoke and the mess.  Those are easy.  They even come in gummy bears.”

I tried not to look super clueless and naive, but those are two of my most frequent masks.  “I smoked pot in Amsterdam once, it was fun,” I said.  I know, I’m so Steve McQueen.

As I was laughing it off, it occurred to me that maybe there is a place in my life for “special” gummy bears.  After all, pot is a plant like…kale.  Kale is good for me, so why not?  I did what I always do, I asked more questions.  Turns out you can function on these gummy bears, you just “don’t give a shit.”  Today, that sounded incredibly appealing.

By the time she took out the blow dryer, I was on board.  I could be that mom that looks perfectly respectable, but I’m popping THC laced little bear candy.  I’m a writer after all, I should be on something by now.  Maybe I’ll be inspired.

I left the salon feeling on the brink, the cusp, of a new “Who gives a shit?” life.  It was all very Breaking Bad and then I did the one thing cool badass stoners never do.

I Googled cannabis.

Oh, I’m not sure I could handle dry mouth.  Is this going to be a problem in my spin class?  How much will this stuff cost? What if I’m a ticking time bomb just waiting for some gateway drug to give me that boost into hardcore needle land?

I get my hair cut again in a month, I’ll let you know if James Franco and I become buddies.

Wait…can I get in trouble for blogging about this?  Sigh.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Happy Sleep.

11 Replies to “Stone Washed”

  1. Actually, hardcore stoners Google cannabis all the time. You’d be surprised. A lot of the traffic to my blog is from people Googling for various strains. 🙂 Good luck! The gateway drug thing is BS, don’t worry about that. Just do what feels right to you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: