Uneven Load

I read an article in Time that said certain experts are stating January 21, 2008 was the most depressing day of the year.   While I am reluctant to believe that something like this can be determined, it sure does seem possible.  The mortgage crisis, unemployment, the inept administration currently running our country, the stock market, small business and the middle class struggles.
I could go on forever, but I do not want to.  I am tired of being scared and depressed.  I spend so much time worrying about my country, my children, my husband, my business, money.  I am done.  I am not sitting in a hospital room, nor am I living on the street.  But I wonder if those people worry about anything at all?  When you are dealt such a blow that you or a loved one are ill, or you lose your home, do you worry about anything?  I think at that point things are clearly in perspective and rather than worrying you are in the moment and dealing with one day at a time.
I know there are songs and books that tell you to “Live Like You are Dying”, but is that really possible?  I do not think it is.  It is the people trapped somewhere between safe and dangerous, home and homeless, well and sick, rich and poor.  Those are the people that in my opinion seem to really struggle and worry.  They are the “almost there” people.  The ones that can feel success or happiness, but they just can not get there, or they need to wait to get there.
They worry about the petty because petty things are the little steps that they think will get them to their goal, or what they think is happiness.  I am not just talking about money.  I am talking about peace, calm, contentment, happiness. And then there is a part of me that just thinks this is all part of life.  Maybe we never get there.  Maybe we just busy ourselves with these tasks reaching for the unattainable and then we just die?
Nope.  It is all in the mind.  There is always something to strive for that is good.  Letting it take over your life and consume you to the point that you miss your life is not good.  I was recently on vacation with my family and my husband and I were taking a walk.  As we were walking, I stopped to look at some flowers growing by the side of the road.  Next to the flowers were these small plants with little rounded green leaves,
“Those are Dichondra,” my husband said.  “I used to lay on the grass in summer time and count the leaves for hours,” he added.
How could a man so consumed by work and worry ever have noticed the Dichondra?
That is what happens.  We get trapped.
Just my thoughts from the laundry room.  Good Night!

life sadness thirtysomething thoughts Uncategorized

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