Tighty Whitey

I spend a lot of time in the car, so I often entertain myself by people watching on the freeway. For those of you that don’t have an hour commute, let me tell you it can be fascinating. Occasionally I’ll see a driver that for one reason or another will make me laugh out loud or make me angry (the crazy abortion bumper stickers never fail and what’s with the guys that have a metal ball sack hanging from the back of their truck? Ewwwe!).

These crazy exceptions are fun, but I’m also an observer of trends such as family members on the back of cars (don’t quite get that one, but I suppose people being proud of their family is a good thing), memorial sentiments on cars, lots of Hawaii and political bumper stickers. All of these are people out there expressing themselves and making their car unique, I suppose.

The trend that’s on my mind tonight is the “Piss on_____” trend. You know the ones where the little Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) is pissing on something. If you’ve never seen this then you really don’t spend enough time in the car. I’ve seen Piss on Chevy or Ford or Toyota or just the word Foreign. Piss on Obama or Bush or Bin Laden. Piss on Taxes and I’ve even seen Piss on my ex-wife or ex-husband.

I thought about these sentiments on the way home today and again I don’t get it. What could possibly make you so upset that you would not only think to piss on it, but make the effort to buy or make a bumper sticker to share it with others? Then I thought of the actual act of pissing on someone (that’s just how my mind works…completely sober). It seems awfully violent and just…juvenile. The idea of pissing on anything just really doesn’t work for me. I’m reminded of a phrase I used to tell my children when they’d have a “freak out” – Use your big girl/boy words.

If you’re going to make a statement, make it a real statement so people actually pay attention. There are a lot of well thought out bumper stickers out there. “If I quit voting will they go away” is a current favorite of mine, but the pissing thing is just…well, it’s dumb. I said it. It’s right up there with the naked devil and the naked angel. Why aren’t there naked devil and angel men? We may never know the answers to some of these incredibly complex questions, but those are my thoughts from the laundry room tonight.

Put the Seat Down!

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