Dryer Lint

Often times my mind begins to overflow. I am, as we all are, inundated with information whether we want it or not.

Some information is good. It’s important to be informed and even entertained.

But sometimes, some of the information is like knowing every word to Hello by Lionel Richie even though you hated the song in high school. Every time it came on the radio you would change the station, but somehow when you listen to it now you know every single word. The words seeped in. It’s a mystery.

Lately I’ve noticed that I’m a wealth of completely useless information and I’m not sure how it got in there. Everywhere I turn I’m bombarded with sounds or visuals of things I’m not even interested in knowing, but somehow it’s fed to me anyway.

I’ve already mentioned that I don’t watch television, but it doesn’t matter. Advertising or what’s on television seems to be everywhere.

There are even little televisions playing something at my gas station. Am I really going to stand there so long that a few moments of silence would be unbearable? Do I need to be entertained pumping gas? Apparently.

I was at Barnes and Noble today buying a gift and right in front of me as I went to pay was the screaming headline “Kendra tells Hank – It’s Over!”

Who the hell are Kendra and Hank? She sort of looks like Smurfette in human form and he’s very tall so I’m guessing…sports? From the looks of them I guessed reality TV and I was correct, as validated by the cashier ringing up my gift.

Reality TV…I’m pretty sure it’s like trans fats. Everyone loves them now, but someday it will be proven that the stuff really kills you. Kills brain cells at the very least.

This last one was my fault.

My daughter wanted to watch The Grammy’s this year. Seems simple enough. She’s 17 and everyone watches The Grammy’s, right?

I have not watched the Grammy’s in years, but in an effort to appear flexible (my son watched the Superbowl so it’s only fair) I sit down to watch with her. I knew sitting down it was a bad idea, but I stayed.

I’m a normal person (well , some may disagree), I do not possess an extraordinary level of intelligence, but this was an assault on the senses and while there were moments (Mumford and Sons and Katy Perry), most of it was crap sandwiched in between an endless barrage of commercials. If I wasn’t learning about what’s coming up on the latest shows, I was learning what pharmaceuticals I need to take to enhance my life.

I love music, all types of music and I’m not a prude. If Lady Gaga wants to glue weird rubber things to her head, so be it, but The Grammy’s were painful.

By the way, why is Gwyneth Paltrow singing country and with the muppets? Is she having trouble finding work?

I can’t fully explain the key points of the new proposed federal budget, but I’ll leave you with some other things I know and I can’t tell you how or where I learned them:

Teen Mom is a spin off from some other show about teenagers that get pregnant.

Brett Michael’s had a hole in his heart.

Michelle Obama wore a $35.00 H&M dress on some talk show.

Kate Middleton, who’s marrying Prince William, now has a beer named after her.

And finally, Kendra (who it turns out from my Google search is a former Playboy Playmate with a reality show. Wow.) has told Hank she wants out.

That’s a whole lot of nothing to clog the brain. Hello…is it me your looking for?

My thoughts from the laundry room. Eye Masks On.

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