It is not often that the words “death” and “vibrator” come together in the same conversation, let alone the same sentence.  At least not in my life.

I’m sure the two words taken individually could produce a plethora of entertaining dialogue, but together they make for an interesting nail appointment.

I’m sitting in the cushy chair, leaned back, basking in the luxury that is a pedicure.  There are two women sitting in the other chairs to my right.  I can not really see their faces because they too are reclined and there are sheer curtains separating us.

Somehow the conversation among these reclining women and the women creating their happy feet turns to suicide.  Apparently some reality star took her life.  Very sad, they all agree, and then there’s some discussion about other deaths or people taking their life.  I’m looking at Jamie, she’s the only one I can see, and we are all sort of putting our two cents in and then the comments begin to fade.  It’s quiet for a few beats and the woman farthest from me says…

“You know if I ever took my life I’d take a bunch of pills surrounded by candles and holding my vibrator.”

Jamie stops mid-foot rub, as do the other two women, there is a moment that feels like shock and then the entire room erupts in laughter.  The woman who made the comment then says, “Who’s next?  How would you want to go?”  We all agreed that none of us could top the very vivid description of her final moments.

Driving home, I was still thinking about the comment and I was a bit in awe of her comfort level.  Sure it was crass and insensitive and you could say, “Oh my, suicide is not a joking matter.” or “Who brings up a vibrator among strangers?”  I know, but I didn’t care.  I wasn’t offended, I was struck by her ability to let whatever entered her mind fly, unfiltered.

Women talk about it all the time, we preach being our genuine selves or acceptance, and yet we are rarely who we really are, what we really think.  Maybe it was the mesh curtain that allowed her to drop her guard, maybe she spent the whole ride home saying, “What the hell is wrong with me?  Who says that?”  I’ll never know, but it was a brilliant moment.

I’m not sure how I would want to go.  I’m certain a vibrator would not be on my list of top five items to have, but this woman was the real deal, honest to the extreme and she made me laugh.  Nicely done.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Quarter Slot in the Hotel Bed.

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