I am not feeling well.

I’m fighting it and taking my vitamins and getting enough rest, but I think the bastard virus, germ, bug is winning.  That being said, it’s past time to put something on the blog, so before I slip into fuzzy head, stuffy, runny nose, cold and then sweaty, here are some quick thoughts.

Justin Beiber
Think of him as that friend’s dog that you can’t stand because every time you go over to their house the dog jumps up on you, or something is chewed, or the house smells like pee and Pine-Sol because the dog continues to have an “accident” in the house.  It’s not the dog’s fault.  In fact, when the dog ends up at the pound, we will, and should, blame the owners because they, “let the dog run wild” or they “never had time for the dog.”  Justin is 19 years old, his dad parties with him…let me say that again, his father is part of his “posse” and his parents haven’t worked since…I’m guessing since Baby, Baby, Baby Awwwe hit our poor little ears.  His parents are the problem, they are the mess that has created a bigger mess with money.  So, maybe people could take a break from their nutty outrage and direct some of that mean toward his parents.

Cruise Ships
Please listen very carefully.  There is no way in hell you can have a wonderful 4 day/3 night vacation, with all you can eat food, for $179.00, it is simply not possible.  Stop booking vacations on these floating petri dishes and eating bad seafood raised in Taiwanese kiddie pools .  Stay home, go to a museum, drive to the beach for the day, or save up for a bigger, better, healthier trip.  Cut it out because I’m tired of hearing about thousands of people, their bodily fluids and their shock at being stuck, stranded or sick.

Beyonce and Jay Z
I’m going to say the same thing I said about Tim McGraw and Faith Hill a few years ago.  You have sex, we get it.  We understand that sometimes it’s naughty and sometimes you can’t stop staring at each other and Oh Dear Lord the power of your love and attraction is overwhelming.  Done…we’re there.  Please, please stop fawning and groping and sharing your “get a room” behavior with us.  It’s getting yucky now.

Hillary
Don’t do it.  You should have been the nominee, I would have loved to have seen you win, but it’s over.  You have proven yourself to be a wonderfully brilliant woman in the face of much humiliation.  They will eat you alive if you get back in that ring.  Please don’t stay too long at the party.

Applesauce
Better if it is cold, so keep it in the refrigerator even before it’s opened.  That way, when you’re sick it will be right there to make you feel better.

Madonna
You are Madonna for crying out loud.  Take the grill out, get a babysitter for your child, put on a great dress and start acting like the innovator that you once were.  You are heading down the Michael Jackson path and you need to turn around.  Call up Stevie Wonder or Willie Nelson, maybe start there.

Daniel Silva
Thank you for keeping me company while I battle the bug.  Your books are brilliant and Gabriel is now on my Other Husbands List.  Everyone has one of those, right?

Lorde and Robin Thicke
You are on minute 8 and minute 14 respectively.

Right to Life Protestors and the Hospital that Tortured Marlise Munoz’s Family
Shame on you.  The woman died far too young, her 14 week old fetus was severely deformed, and in the middle of all of this, her husband had to go to court to give her peace.  Such ridiculous nonsense, there really are no words.  But since I’m sick and crabby…if there is a hell, I hope there is a special section for these sanctimonious nut jobs that feel it is their place to invade the rights and lives of others.

I think that’s it.  Although, I do wonder why I always crave Pop Tarts when I’m sick.  Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me I’m deprived and I need more preservatives?

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Back to Bed.

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