She stumbled out of the bar, as she had seamless nights before.
Mouth like cotton, the dull streetlights again swirled dizzy.
Beers to shots by midnight and a bouncer’s grip by two.
Slouched in a taxi, she wondered where she was heading.
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“The dull streetlights again swirled dizzy.” I love that line, though I like “seamless,” too. The final line holds so much meaning -and answers the question. Nicely done.
Powerful. So much unvoiced regret that this is where it’s at.
Your title adds a lot to your poem. And you deft language paints the scene in just a few strokes. Most excellent!
Very powerful sentence formation! I’d like to beleive that now that she’s asked herself the question, the answer shall not be far away. She’ll figure out what’s it all adding upto 🙂
It may take her a few more taxi rides, but hopefully she gets it. 🙂 Thank you for reading and your comments.
I agree with GennaClaire about the beers to shots line. I loved that. But I was definitely a little thrown by “seamless.” My eye tripped right over it and inserted the word I anticipated it would be “countless.” I had to go back and reread it correctly.
It is so funny how our internal editor works. I could have gone with “countless” or “endless,” but I wanted it to seem like one long never ending experience. Not sure where “seamless” came from, but it got to stay. Thanks for reading and your comment.
Been there. You nailed it.
Thank you 🙂
Oh, existential angst…let me count the ways! Beautifully written.
Hahahaha. Thank you.
Mmmm. I’m envious of such great writing!! 🙂 “Beers to shots by midnight and a bouncer’s grip by two.” A favorite for sure.
Thank you for reading and your kind comments.
Thank you. 🙂
Four tight, terrific sentences that absolutely engaged me.
Thank you so much.
I can totally feel her pain. So sad. I hope she heads for healing.
In my mind, she adds up all the signs and figures it out. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
Interesting use of ‘seamless’. This brings back far-off memories.
Thank you. Not the obvious choice, but I liked the idea of each night bleeding into the other (no seams) and endless felt flat. Thank you for reading and your comments.
This made me feel sad. (love the image)
She’s pretty sad, but she’ll figure it out. Thanks for reading.
That’s mostly what it adds up to, doesn’t it? Where am I going…
And the detours we send ourselves on. Hopefully she adds all of her experiences up and makes it out. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I like YeshuM’s comment because my favorite part about your post is the last line….because it can be taken at face value or can be taken as a deeper philosophical meaning-of-life sort of statement. And, taken the latter way, that is really what it all adds up to. Brilliant.
I was hoping that last line had more weight than what appeared on the surface. Thank you for reading and your comments.
Oh, the many times I’ve felt this way. So haunting. So much food for thought.
Love this image: “the dull streetlights again swirled dizzy.” You did a great job capturing the despair in her story.
Thank you. She is pretty sad. In my mind, she figures it out. 🙂
Love this as I have been there and can relate. Thankfully I pulled myself together! Great direction on the modern day anxieties on the meaning of life.