There are times when writing is the only thing that makes sense. I’m not talking about the bullshit on Instagram about writing because “I have to.” No one has to do anything except for the taxes and death bit. Writers can be an obnoxious and overdramatic lot. I once typed somewhere that writing is “like…
I woke up on the first day of the new year wondering what it says about me that I can’t choose a Hogwarts house? Not kidding. I was in beautiful Telluride with my family, and on the last night of the year, I read an interview in a magazine. Upon questioning, the interviewee exclaimed,…
What did we do before Ziploc bags? I have a fuzzy memory of a bag with a fold-over tab, which was crazy inefficient because stuff fell right out. I have a clear memory of scoffing at such a bag while wondering why a Ziploc was not used instead. For some reason, a lot of…
It is difficult to find juicy limes. They’re not like lemons, or maybe they are, but it seems like anytime I buy a lime it is dry. They look decent and green on the outside, but inside limes don’t flow. Lemons, on the other hand, are always brimming with juice. In fact, I can not…
If I were ever asked to offer one piece of advice, one thing that could change the world, my contribution would be this: Turn off the television. Now, because I’m a wordy woman that nugget would be closely followed by, “stop supporting the fast food industry,” and “if a t-shirt costs less than twenty dollars…
Goldilocks annoys the crap out of me. First of all, you can’t stumble upon a bear’s home or anyone’s home, and let yourself in when your knock is not answered. Who do you think you are? This little tale has been shared with generations of children. She even gets top billing— Goldilocks and the Three…
Apparently traditional tampons contain chemicals. Sorry male readers, you might want to skip this post or use it as an opportunity to get over the whole, “eww tampons” business. I’m sure the females in your life will appreciate the effort. Back on topic, tampons, as in the materials that make up the things, have chemicals…
What happened to turning on the bathroom water, pushing the little thingie for soap, and grabbing a few paper towels? We have turned into a bunch of hand wavers trying to trip some sensor simply to wash our hands. Have you looked around an airport bathroom, or better yet, been treated to a spontaneous bidet when…
We leave for Amsterdam in the morning. My seventeen year old thinks she’s going to get stoned with her parents. Isn’t she cute? How do you say, “Not in this lifetime,” in Dutch? We will be gone for a week in our attempt to see as many of Van Gogh’s paintings as possible. I’ve…