Boyfriend Jeans


I had to buy a new pair of spin shoes.

I mean I guess I didn’t have to, but the ones I have are almost a year old and they’re not as pretty as some of the other shoes in class.  They’re losing their structure, they’re a little sloppy.  For those of you that don’t partake in the torture that is spin, think new running shoes.

Anyway, I bought them and they’re super shiny and there’s even a little bit of pink in these ones and…I just don’t like them as much.

For some reason today, as I was cursing my shoes,  I wondered…

Is this what it’s like when you have a sweet, lovable, but slightly shabby or boring boyfriend and you want something different?  You want the flashier boyfriend, or husband for that matter?  The one with more money or hot abs, the one that stops to pick flowers on the way home, reallllly listens, maybe has a sleeve tattoo?

Getting new shoes could be like deciding you’ve been with the dull reliable boyfriend for too long and it’s time for a change.  You’ve grown apart, he’s become too comfortable.  So you take the plunge, end the relationship, and secure a date with Mr. Hot Damn.

In case I’ve lost you, my new shoes are Mr. Hot Damn.  You follow?  So, you put on your favorite spin pants and your best socks and the shoes look so cute, but…

Mr. Hot Damn opens his mouth and you just know from that first moment, that first Pitbull song, that there’s no one home. He’s checking himself out, his face is in his phone and he’s eating a salad.  Kind of like your calves hurt a little on the down stroke and for some reason they clip in weird.  Mr. Hot Damn becomes Mr. Too Pretty Pain in the Ass Check Please in ten minutes flat.

Once the date/class is over, you offer up a stupid handshake or throw the shoes in the bag.  On the drive home, you curse yourself.  You couldn’t just leave well enough alone.

Good Old Mr. Reliable Slightly Predictable may not have been the latest and the greatest, but he/they were sure as hell better than the shiny piece of yuck you have now.

Sigh…well, I’m stuck with Mr. Hot Damn.  Hopefully he breaks in soon, starts reading or eating brownies, because I gave away the other shoes.  I guess that means my comfy boyfriend is not taking me back.

My thoughts from the laundry room.  Bad Dream.

 

8 thoughts on “Boyfriend Jeans

  1. BREAK HIM! Wear them outside and get dirt on them, splash them in puddles, drop crumbs on them, let them gather a collection of small stones in the toes.

      1. haha! Yes! In for a penny, in for a pound. You’ve paid for them, now you have to MAKE it worth the money!

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